It's not Lavender I care about
by JemilyDay
Summary: A missing moment from The Halfblood prince. It is Ron and Hermione talking in the hospital wing after he was poisoned. Please R&R.I personally am dying to know what happened in this scene. Enjoy!
1. Hermione's POV

Hermione's POV

He looked so young and helpless lying on that hospital bed, that it was all I could do to stop from crying. He almost died today…he almost died and he would never have known how I really cared about him. A sharp pain went through my chest at the thought of losing Ron. Ron…the boy who was so frustrating, immature and insensitive, who was also the one person I couldn't live without. No Ron to sit up late in the common room with, no Ron to tick off for not doing his homework, no Ron to cheer on during quidditch matches…

He started muttering something incomprehensibly in his sleep then. I reached out and took hold of his clammy hand, hanging off the side of his bed. I looked down at it and realised he had dirt in his fingernails. I gave a somewhat half sob, half laugh and then the tears started flowing freely.

I only stopped when I heard a small voice.

"Hermione?"

His voice was still scratchy and sore, thought not as bad as when he had croaked "Er-my-nee" in his sleep earlier.

I lifted my head up.

"Ron?"

"Er…" He was looking down at his hand which I realised I was still clasping tightly. I dropped it like a hot potato and wiped my tears away.

"How are you feeling?" I asked quietly.

Ron was looking at me with a look that I couldn't read.

"Uh…My throat hurts a bit. Could you pass me that water?"

"Oh!" In my haste to pour him a glass of water from the jug on his bedside table, I knocked the teetering pile of gifts of Honeyduke's sweets onto the floor and I started wildly picking them up.

This is Ron, stupid, I thought to myself sharply. Why cant you stop acting like a complete idiot for two seconds and just talk to him, like you've done a thousand times before?

I passed him a glass.

"Thanks." He said and took a sip. He was strangely quiet too.

I sat there for a few minutes pretending to look at a card that the twins had brought Ron, which flashed different messages every two seconds.

I wonder how they do that, I thought, it must be some kind of charm. I'll…

"Hermione?" Ron said again.

"Yes?"

"How come you're not mad at me anymore?"

"Oh…um…" His question caught me off guard. Why wasn't I mad at him anymore? After all, he had agreed to go to a party with me, and then suddenly started being absolutely horrible to me and finally became attached to Lavender at the lips with no thought as to whether or not I'd get hurt. I know that we weren't together and I hadn't even told him I liked him but there was still an 'us'. He knew that. So why wasn't I mad at him? Then I thought of the way he shouted at Snape for insulting me and received a detention, the way he looked so lost before his very first Quidditch match and the way he vomited up slugs for me…

"I guess I missed having you as a friend."

That wasn't a lie. I missed having him as a friend, but I didn't want to be just friends.

He smiled at me, though his eyes still looked a little sad. I looked away embarrassedly and this time he took my hand and spoke in a tone of voice I had never heard before. It was desperate.

"Hermione. About Lavender…"

I pulled my hand away.

"I don't really want to talk about Lavender."

"It's not Lavender I care about."

I smiled and felt my face go vaguely pink.

"I know. Get some sleep Ron."

I turned to go and then thought differently.

"Ron?" He was already asleep and I could swear there was faint smile on his lips.


	2. Ron's POV

Ron's POV

As I opened my eyes, everything seemed fuzzy. I blinked a few times and as I went to rub the sleep out of my eyes, I realised someone was holding my right hand quite tightly. I looked down and realised how it was. I couldn't see her face, but I knew that head of hair anywhere.

"Hermione?"

I was surprised at how weak sounding my voice was, but not as surprised that Hermione was sitting there worriedly next to me after everything I had put her through.

She lifted her head up and I was shocked to see tear streaks running down her face.

"Ron?" she whispered in a tiny little voice. I had never really heard her use such a scared and vulnerable voice before. That was when I remembered that she was holding my hand. I looked down immediately, feeling suddenly shy. Her warm fingers were laced between my big clumsy ones. I searched for something to say.

"Er…"

She snatched her hand away and started to regain some of her usual Hermione-ness.

"How are you feeling?" she asked and I couldn't help noticing she was fidgeting slightly.

A lot worse now you've taken your hand away, I thought regretfully to myself.

I swallowed.

"Uh…my throat hurts a bit." I looked to the table beside Hermione that had a big jug of refreshing looking water on it aswell as a large stack of gifts, which I would most certainly start eating later. Right in front of Harry as well, I thought, without offering him anyway. If he wasn't so darn popular then there would never have been a love potion to accidentally swallow in the first place.

Hermione looked to where I was indicating and hastily picked up the jug, knocking a fair number of boxes of chocolate frogs down.

"Oh!" she exclaimed and started scrambling around retrieving them.

I gave her a small smile. It wasn't like her to be like this and I knew she must have been really worried. I can't imagine how I would have felt if she had almost died. I licked my lips nervously…I didn't even want to think about it.

I took the glass of water she had carefully poured me and gulped some down. Unfortunately, it didn't help my throat at all but I smiled at her to stop her from looking at me anxiously. She went a bit pink and started looking at my various cards.

I still didn't understand why she was here. I don't think I could even ever look at her again if she had snogged Krum repeatedly in front of me. Stupid Krum, I thought, I'd like to beat his fat head in…

Why wasn't she mad at me? After me being a idiot this year and she was here beside me, being supportive and holding my hand.

"Hermione?"

She looked up concernedly.

"Yes"

"How come you're not mad at me anymore?"

She looked at me for a while. Merlin, where would I be without Hermione? It had almost killed me not being on speaking-terms with her this year. I had hurt her. I knew that. I had made her cry, but I couldn't stop. All of these years, I had always felt like I would never be smart enough, or rich enough, or handsome enough, or brave enough for her and suddenly it was me hurting her and I couldn't stop. I regret it so much now. I know that I want to be with her. It was in that moment when she was staring at me and sitting next to me in the hospital wing that I realised no matter how much of a screw-up I am, she'll always be there.

"I guess I missed having you as a friend."

A friend. I guess that was her way of telling me that was all she wanted me to be.

Still, Hermione as a friend is better than no Hermione at all.

I smiled. She still had a hurt look in her eyes, though, that had been there since that bloody night at the Quidditch party when I had ruined everything. I had to make that look go away. She had to know how I felt. I grabbed her hand.

"Hermione. About Lavender."

The hurt look was replaced with the Hermione-ish sparks, like when she had slapped that git, Malfoy.

"I don't really want to talk about Lavender." She said sharply as she wrenched her hand from my grasp.

"It's not Lavender I care about." There. I had said it.

I watched as her cheeks glowed rose-colour.

"I know." She said softly. "Get some sleep Ron." And with that she turned away. I sank back on my nicely plumped pillows. I wanted to tell her I loved her, I thought drowsily. Oh well, I thought, there'll be time for that soon enough. And with that I sank back into the first peaceful sleep I'd had in months.


End file.
